


feel better

by whimsicalMelancholy



Category: Great Pretender (Anime)
Genre: Bittersweet, M/M, Mutual Pining, Songfic, just like everything else i write babeyyyy, poor makoto is kinda insecure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27610810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsicalMelancholy/pseuds/whimsicalMelancholy
Summary: makoto goes back to japan. he and laurent pine for each other.
Relationships: Edamura Makoto/Laurent Thierry
Comments: 11
Kudos: 77





	1. makoto

**Author's Note:**

> songfic inspired by feel better by penelope scott! i don't know what's going on here i wrote most of it at 3am. enjoy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> makoto thinks about laurent.

i don't wanna feel better  
no one's ever gonna love me like that again  
i don't wanna get over you  
i wanna sit with you in bed  
i don't wanna feel better  
i'd give anything to miss you again  
i don't wanna get over it

all he wanted was a straight and honest life. one not led by cons or schemes or laurent thierry. he was tired of being dragged around against his will, shoved into plane cockpits and stuffy suits. 

at least, that's what makoto tries to tell himself. 

every day he tries to convince himself that being a confidence man is not what he wants anymore, that he never wanted to be at all, but he can't stop thinking about it. the thrill, the joy, the accomplishment. but most importantly, laurent. 

it’s cold in makoto’s little apartment room. it’s empty, it’s quiet. it lacks color and noise and champagne bubbles and adrenaline. he wishes laurent were here with him, sitting on the futon in this quaint little box of a room, talking about anything, everything, small talk with much deeper meanings neither of them will mention but both understand.

as much as makoto hates to admit it, he misses laurent, more than anything. he misses the way laurent looks at him, touches him, teases him, always goes back for him. nobody's ever done for him what laurent has, and in a way, it feels like love. all of laurent's little gestures of affection, some subtle, some not so subtle, feel like love to makoto. he even thinks it might be. 

but he knows laurent isn't looking for someone like makoto, a skinny, shy scrap of a man that’s just lying to himself about his feelings. he knows laurent knows this. laurent knows everything about him. and he knows if laurent had a chance, he'd probably just treat makoto like another conquest and throw him away when he gets bored. maybe that's why makoto was so dead set on refusing his feelings. 

he's scared. maybe that's why he ran away. 

he knows he'd never be what laurent wants, so he ran. he was too afraid of getting hurt. by the person he loved, for the first, maybe only time. 

maybe it was a mistake. maybe he should have never chased laurent into that cab, gotten onto that plane, into this entire mess. but he knows that’s not what he wants. maybe he should have stayed, selfishly. he aches for laurent’s cocky laugh, his overconfident grin, his warm hands on makoto’s shoulders. he wish he never brushed it off in france.

now who’s gonna love him like that?

he doesn’t want to forget about laurent. why would he? he knows it hurts to think about him, to think about the man he purposefully left behind, all because he was a coward, but he can’t help himself. it felt like love, it really did. 

he’d do anything to go back again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my first great pretender fic! i have crippling edaurent disease they live in my head rent free  
> i want to write more cus i love love love these two but the rest of my head is empty :(  
> and YES this will be completed i PINKY PROMISE this will be done i'm not pulling another starlight rain  
> if you like devilman crybaby please try checking out my other works! i have lots of those coming~~  
> comments n kudos are good and nice!! please look forward to more ´˘` ♡♡


	2. laurent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> laurent thinks about him too.

i guess i loved you  
i guess i really loved you  
all my filthy life i loved someone i barely knew  
and now you’re over there  
and i’m way over here  
what am i gonna do

laurent has never denied it. he's known since the moment he met makoto, a flower full of potential just waiting to bloom, he was going to fall in love with this little soybean. his future accomplice, partner in crime, and maybe, if laurent could indulge, his future lover, too. 

he knows every part of his heart that he can give belongs to his edamame. he'll wait two, three, a thousand years more if it meant makoto would come back to him. he said he was in love with the cons, but in truth, he just wanted to keep makoto by his side. no amount of money they could scam out of brothers rigging air races or art connoisseurs using people would ever give him the same joy as seeing makoto smile at him. 

what's he gonna do now that makoto isn't here? how is he supposed to feel anything when the man he loves is thousands of miles away? he doesn't know. 

but he knows exactly how makoto feels right now, sitting in his tiny apartment room in japan. sweet makoto, who wears his heart on his sleeve without even knowing it. he knows makoto is torn between living his honest life or indulging in the plots of team confidence, and he’s sure makoto will come back. back to the cons. back to him.

he’s selfish, he knows this. he knows how much makoto hates getting caught up in these schemes over and over again, but he also knows that makoto was born to do this. he knows that deep down, he loves it. laurent knows makoto loves him too, and that he doesn’t want to admit it.

he misses his little soybean. laurent misses the adorable way makoto pouts when laurent says something smug, the way his shoulders eventually began to relax when laurent put his hands on them, how much makoto wanted to outdo him. he thinks about it far more than he ever expected to.

laurent folds his arms behind his head, leans back in his bed, far too large for just one person, and sighs.

he really did love makoto, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one is like,, fuckin short i think i just like writing makoto more  
> don't worry they just get shorter from here on out ! (:  
> chapter 3 coming on the 22nd or 23rd and chapter 4 on the 25th!! i hope you're enjoying this so far, please let me know how it is! ´˘` ♡♡


	3. going home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> makoto decides to go home, back to japan.

we kept our liquor in a suitcase underneath my bed  
and we drank it to go out or to stay in or to feel sad  
but in a hot way,  
in a way i’ll never fucking have again

“i’m going back home,” makoto declares, halfway through his shot. “back to japan.”

laurent cocks an eyebrow at makoto and looks at him sideways, whiskey sloshing in its bottle.

“is that so?”

“mhm. if i stay wherever you people are, i’ll end up back here,” makoto explains, chuckling. he finishes his shot, slams the glass on the table. they both know 'here' means pulling off cons and schemes that makoto continues to insist he doesn't want to do, but also that 'here' means with each other. he's just too scared to admit it. laurent knows it too.

“you know you love being here,” laurent responds with just as much haughtiness.

“i liked my apartment better. much quieter. much less illegal.”

“okay, well, technically--” laurent starts.

“do you know how many times we’ve impersonated people?” makoto interrupts, knowing exactly how laurent is gonna defend himself. “how many identities we’ve faked?

“well, we always used our real names, so i don’t know if that counts.”

“doctor? legendary mechanic? hell, i even played a gardener! i’ve never gardened a moment in my life!”

“it’s okay to play pretend sometimes, my dear edamame,” laurent says breezily, knowing that easygoing tone of his infuriates makoto.

“i made drugs, laurent! how much more illegal does it get?!”

laurent hums and looks out the window, denying makoto a straight answer. he knows makoto is fuming at him, and he cracks a small smile because laurent knows how cute that is. the sky is darkening, and the beautiful hues of the sunset are being washed away slowly. the room is silent, and there’s a thick blanket over the room, a somber feeling weighing everything down. neither of them acknowledges it, but they both know it’s there.

“‘back home’, huh?” laurent repeats from makoto’s earlier declaration. his voice is uncharacteristically quiet, and they both hear the weight behind it. “to that little apartment in japan?”

“yeah. home,” makoto confirms softly, feeling a little choked up. “for good.”

a pause.

“'for good',” laurent echoes again, like he's still trying to process it. "we'll miss you, edamame."

 _i’ll_ miss you, they both hear.

“yeah,” makoto repeats again, too scared to say what he wants to.

_i’ll miss you too._

the sun has begun to set.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe. last chapter on the 25th! let me know how this is going! i really like hearing feedback ´˘` ♡♡


	4. coming back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a few years later

and we were all a train wreck but also somehow making it  
i think i might’ve died there twice

laurent is waiting for him patiently at the airport. the second makoto sees him, he drops his luggage and runs into laurent’s welcoming arms, taking in his warmth, his presence, everything he's wanted and missed for years.

laurent sets his hands gently against the small of makoto’s back and holds him close, like nobody has ever done for makoto again before. his hands are grabbing the back of laurent’s shirt, like there's nothing else to ground him.

“i’m home,” makoto whispers quietly, so only the two of them hear. his voice is shaking, and laurent smiles.

“welcome home, edamame.”

and i would do it all again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's done !! i don't really know how i feel about this fic tbh because i've definitely gotten better feedback (feedback good please feed me) but i'm really happy i wrote for this fandom! i love this pairing so so much and it's made it onto my top three list of ships  
> also like if u guys have any requests/ideas i'll definitely consider them cus i'm more than happy to feed my crippling edaurent addiction  
> i appreciate you making it through all this way! thank you for reading!! ´˘` ♡♡


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